Hanging by a Thread

I’d like to say that this roller coaster I’ve been riding is fun, but I’d be telling ya’ a story. The truth is I’m exhausted and there is no relief in sight. The job? I like it so far. I’m overwhelmed, yet the job is interesting and I’m learning many new things. If I can keep the squirrels in my brain from running amok I think I’ll survive. Those little guys are on some serious caffeine ‘cause I’ve been jumping from task to task faster than Clark Kent sheds his suit and glasses for a unitard and cape.

The drive and 12 hour days? Um, well that’s another story altogether. I’m not second guessing myself per se, but I didn’t think the drive would be so bad. Ha! Ha! The joke is on me. Not only is the drive awful (imagine hundreds of relocated Yankees still driving like they live up North), but it is so long after a work day. There are only so many podcasts, so much music and news you can listen to before your mind wanders.

Now please don’t take offense if you’ve relocated here and still drive like from whence you came – I was once in the same driver’s seat many years ago. But you’re here now so try to chill, okay? There is no reason to drive 80 MPH in between slamming on your brakes while weaving in and out of traffic and cutting people off so we can end up at the exit together. Relax. This is the South and you’ll get there on time with less stress if you would only chill out a bit.

What I miss most is having more time. Time to relax. Time to exercise. Time to hang out with friends. Time to get out and do things. Time to work on my blog.

I miss my flex schedule and having every other Friday off. I miss going and doing things. As it stands right now I get about three and a half hours a day before I must go to bed and then get on the wheel again. By Friday I’m spent. That leaves Saturday as my only free day. Sundays are for cleaning & laundry & week prep.

Right now, I’m so overwhelmed with learning the ropes at work that I can’t even think when I get home, which means no writing or other creative things. I’m lucky that Daphne gets walked and fed and I can shovel in a few bites of food before I crash for the night. Everything in my personal life seems to be suffering. I’m really struggling with myself and my decision right now. Midlife crisis perhaps? Who knows, but I’m sitting here wondering if this is what life is all about.

The stairwell leading to the bridge leading to my building. I climb the stairs at least a couple times a day. Do I look thinner?

All of this has got to get better, right? Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. Gotta run! The squirrels are on the move again!